


Bruce Banner's Tragedy of a Childhood

by INeedARemedy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Brian Banner's A+ Parenting, Domestic Violence, F/M, Suicide Attempt, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:30:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INeedARemedy/pseuds/INeedARemedy
Summary: This is a oneshot. It takes place before Age of Ultron. The team finds out about Bruce's dad and terrifying childhood at the end of a mission.





	Bruce Banner's Tragedy of a Childhood

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction. It has not been edited by anyone.

"So in conclusion, we need you to build a bomb to blow up a HYDRA Base. Think you can do it?" Agent Coulson just finished debriefing Bruce Banner on a mission that the Avengers were leaving for in the morning. Banner was silent.  
"We would have Stark do it, but he said it's not his area of expertise." Coulson said after a second, sensing the hesitation. After another second, he continued on. "None of the other Avengers have the skills to. Although, Romanof probably could, she couldn't in this short amount of time." Coulson rambled for another minute or two before Banner interupted. "You read my file." "Yes." Bruce paused at the answer. But then said in an unfeeling "I'll do it. But nobody can know." "Ok. That can be arranged." Coulson headed out the door, but turned back for a second and said. "Call me when it's done." Then he was gone. Banner took a deep breath and shoved the glimpses of his childhood memories down. He got to work, loosing himself in the process.

**\--- Time Jump ---**  
By morning it was complete and in Coulson's possession. Banner was exhausted, but he had to get on the Quinjet and head to the mission location. He trudged onto up the ramp and into the jet. "You look exhausted." Tony casually commented. Banner didn't answer, only sat down and promptly collapsed into a light sleep. The team shared concerned glances. "JARVIS, why is Banner so tired?" "He was up all night in his lab." Why?" "He asked me not to say." "Why?" "He didn't mention a reason." "JARVIS says that he was up all night working in his lab." The team nodded, curiosity sated for now.

**\--- Time Jump ---**  
Banner was woken up 5 minutes before they arrived at their destination. "Thanks for letting me rest." He muttered. "No problem, Science Bro." Tony answered easily. "Is this a Code Green?" Banner asked seriously, all evidence of exhaustion gone. "Yes, but only until Tony can plant the bomb, then we get out. So stick to Widow. We need to be prepared to perform the lullaby at any moment." Cap answered. Bruce nodded, and glanced out the window. "We're here."

**\--- Time Jump ---**  
The battle was going great. The team was providing a significant distraction for Tony. He was actually planting the bomb at the moment. "The timer is set for 5 minutes. Everyone start heading toward the jet. I'm arming it now." Tony said over the comms.  
**5:00 minutes remaining.**  
"Alright. Natasha, it's lullaby time." Cap ordered. Natasha gave a subtle nod and then headed toward the Hulk. "Hey big guy. The sun's getting real low." She coaxed.  
**4:00 minutes remaining.**  
Slowly the green faded to reveal a shivering Dr. Banner. "I've got Banner. Heading to evac location now." She warned over the comms. "Good timing. I've just got out of the base." Tony replied.  
**3:00 minutes remaining.**  
"Heading back now, too." He continued. "Alright. Clint and I are on our way. Thor, where are you at?" Cap inquired. "I am with the Man of Iron, heading to the jet." Thor replied in his booming voice. Everyone was aboard the jet now.  
**2:00 minutes remaining.**  
It was in air and leaving slowly, as if waiting to see if they succeeded. Everyone was the windows, silent.  
**1:00 minute remaining.**  
Banner anxiously fiddled with his hands, his emotions overloading his brain. 'I shouldn't of made the bomb.' He thought dreadfully. 'How many people are going to get hurt? How many dead? Oh god. What have I done?'  
**0:00 minutes remaining.**  
Nothing happened. The team waited another second. Still nothing. "Tony?" Steve asked in confusion. "The countdown struck zero." He answered, also bewildered. Bruce took a deep breath. "How much did you jousle the bomb when you flew in?" He asked, voice void of emotion. He was emotionally detaching himself from the situation. "I didn't. I flew as straight and steady as possible." Tony protested. Clint raised an eyebrow. "I seem to recall you get nearly blasted out of the sky right after you first took off." He supplied. "Ok. So maybe a little." Tony conceded. "But I didn't drop it." Bruce sighed in realization. "You must have dislodged one of looser wires." "Ok. So what do we do?" Cap asked. Bruce sighed again. He hesitantly pulled out a small remote detonator. He held the button for 3 and a half seconds, and as soon as he let go, the base exploded. Bruce tucked the contraption away in resigned saddness. "Where did you get that?" Tony asked. Bruce shrugged without much motivation "I made it just in case something like this happened." He said in a dull neutral tone. There was a moment of confused silence. "Is that what you stayed up late in your lab doing?" Tony asked. "Partly." Was the answer. "What else where you doing?" "Nothing." Tony scrutinized him for a second. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes glossy and his fingers moving around anxiously. "You made the bomb?" Tony asked in surprise. Bruce sighed for a third time. "No." "JARVIS?" "The chemicals Dr. Banner was working with last night match the chemicals in the explosive." JARVIS supplied. Tony gazed at Banner in shock. Banner sighed saddly. "I take you didn't read my file." Tony shook his head no. As did Thor and Steve. Clint replied with "Not all of it." Natasha was silent. Bruce chuckled darkly. "When I was in school, I was ruthlessly bullied for being smarter. So when I got to high school and it got worse instead of better, I decided I had to do something." Bruce sighed then continued in a flat detached tone. "I made a homemade bomb. I planted it in the basement, set the timer to five minutes and called the school. I threatened the office and told them it would go off in less than five minutes. They called the cops immediately. They evacuated the whole school and waited. It never went off." He glanced at his teammates faces and watched their reactions. Tony's face held confusion, as did Thor's. Steve's and Clint's faces held disbelief. Nat's was carefully blank. There was a moment of silence, in which Widow's face became determined. She then casually commented. "Bruce forgot to mention that they found him sitting next to bomb an hour later, where he had been waiting for the bomb to go off." Bruce cringed away at the memory. Everyone was now concerned. "Is that true?" Bruce refused to meet Tony's eyes. "Jesus. I thought that when you mentioned trying to off yourself on the Helicarrier, it was a one time thing." Tony took a deep breath. "How many times have you tried to kill yourself?!" He demanded. Bruce muttered something under his breath. "What did you say?" Tony asked almost angrily. "13 times. I tried to commit suicide 13 different times. Each one of them failed, hence why I'm still here." Bruce replied in a bitter tone. '14 is my lucky number, though. Maybe I'll be lucky this time.' He thought dryly. "...When was the most recent one?" Tony asked, almost scared. "17 days, 3 hours, 27 minutes and 16 seconds ago." A beat of silence followed the statement. "You tried to commit suicide in the tower?!" Tony nearly screeched. Bruce shifted his gaze away uncomfortably. "Why didn't come talk to us?" Steve asked sadly. He put a comforting hand on Stark's shoulder as he spoke and Tony's anger resigned away to plain sadness. Bruce doesn't answer the question, instead he curls into himself. Suddenly Thor is storming (Hehe. Get it?) toward Banner before anyone can stop him. He towered over Bruce and then bellowed. "Why, friend Bruce, would you hurt yourself as such?" Bruce doesn't answer, but instead stands slowly and starts retreating to one of the side rooms of the jet. Thor raises his hands frustration and anger, about to start demanding answers. Automatically, Bruce's arms are flung up and crossed to cover any incoming blows to his head. He squeezes his eyes shut, turns his head to the side and waits. Immediately Thor lowers his hands in confusion and Steve asks. "Bruce?" Suddenly Bruce's eyes snap open and he is back on the jet with the team. He slowly lowers his arms and starts backing away. "Bruce, are you ok?" "Bruce, calm down." He backs up with each statement. "No one's here to hurt you." It's too much for him to handle. "STOP!!!" Everyone freezes. His eyes flash green, but nothing more. He curls up into the corner. Suddenly there's a hand on his shoulder and he realizes he is shaking. A feminine voice accompanies the hand. It reminds him of his mom. He relaxes. He's not shaking. He slowly looks up to see a red head in the forefront. Natasha. He glanced behind her. The rest of the team have varying degrees of concern and confusion on their faces. "Bruce?" Natasha asks concerned. He blinks once, twice, thrice. He slowly stands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell or react so violently. Or lie about building the bomb. Or not tell you guys about building it." He apologized softly. "Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong." 'I existed.' Was his first thought for a reply. But instead he shrugged. "Bruce, why did you block your head like that?" Asked Steve in worry and a hint of fear. Instead up answering, Bruce merely shrugged again. Tony's face then scrunched up in a bizarre expression. "He hit you, didn't he?" Tony asked, his face changing to sympathic. Bruce winced and quietly asked. "What are you talking about?" Tony just looked at Bruce with sadness and understanding. Bruce refused to meet his eyes. "What are you guys talking about?" Steve demanded. Tony just looked at Steve and murmured, "His father." Steve's eye widened considerably and his jaw seemed to unhinge from his face. But his face soon turned to outward pain and sympathy. "Oh god. I had no idea." Steve whispered in silent horror. Thor face was, surprisingly, not one of confusion, but of understanding and respect. "How many of your scars are from him?" Clint asked softly. "All of them." Bruce answered sadly. Natasha silently raised an eyebrow at Bruce. "Most of them." He amended. "What are the others from?" Clint asked. Bruce did not answer immediately. The pain on his face intensified, but he managed to supply a small explanation. "Myself." The heavy silence that followed was terrifying.


End file.
